This Is Your Brain on Motherhood
And why brands, books, and burnout are all catching up to the mental load (sort of).
"All of my friends who have kids are in hell."
— Chappell Roan, Call Her Daddy
I knew I wanted to write about maternal mental health this week. It’s beensomething I’ve been half-processing, circling, overthinking.
Then I saw this stat: 39% of moms are expected to plan their own Mother’s Day meal. And something hit. It’s funny. Almost. Because it says so much in one sentence.
That even on a day that’s supposedly about celebrating moms, we’re still coordinating the babysitter, managing the meltdown, double-checking the reservation, and probably apologizing if the vibe is off.
So yes, I wanted to talk about mental health. But not in a vague, “let’s normalize it” way. I’ve been trying to get underneath it. What’s actually going on? Why are so many moms I know running on fumes? This isn’t just about sleep deprivation or needing more self-care. It’s about the systems we live inside and what happens when they expect moms to hold everything together on 10% battery.
So this week’s post is a bit of a guided spiral. An attempt to make sense of why the mental load isn’t just heavy—it’s crushing. Why we still treat it like a personal failing. And how maternal mental health went from something whispered about to something being stitched into ad campaigns, policy debates, and TikTok trends.
Let’s get into it.
The Mental Load, Quantified
Parenting now comes with a Surgeon General's warning: In 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General officially named parental stress a public health issue. Half of parents say they’re overwhelmed most days.
The unpaid mental load? Worth $3.8 trillion. If all the scheduling, planning, and worrying parents do got a paycheck, it would add up to $3.8 trillion a year.
Moms carry 70% of that load. Planning playdates, signing field trip forms, remembering dentist appointments: 71% of it falls on moms. Mental gymnastics, but make it unpaid.
It’s not just mental, it’s physical. 90% of parents lose sleep over caregiving. 39% of moms get an hour to themselves. 80% of moms have cried about it. Nearly 1 in 3 has thought about self-harm. This isn’t “just tired.” It’s full on crisis.
Even Mother’s Day isn’t safe. Open Table found that 39% of moms have to plan their own Mother's Day meal. A brand should step in here.
Screaming on the Outside
The mental load isn’t staying quiet anymore. It’s leaking everywhere: memes, media, markets and your daily group chat.
#MomRage has 64M+ views on TikTok and counting. Confessionals about screaming into steering wheels > cut-and-paste parenting tips. Meanwhile, #OverstimulatedMom reels show moms cracking under Cocomelon loops and sticky fingers.
Books report back: Screaming on the Inside and The Motherload don’t sugarcoat it. They name the mental toll of motherhood. Honestly? Reading them felt like a wait… is this me? moment.
The Unwell Mom Era is Here: From New York Times features on maternal rage to Super Bowl ads showing mesh underwear and postpartum bleeding,
the quiet suffering of moms is no longer quiet.
From Breakdown to Brand Deal
Brands have started to name the mental load now. But the truth is most are still selling products—not building safety nets.
Bobbie launched an “Ask for Help” campaign that reframed mental load as something moms shouldn’t just carry—they should get help with. The CTA isn’t “do more.” It’s “don’t do this alone.”
Elvie, known for its wearable pumps, dropped The Motherload Report—a study on how the mental load is burning women out across parenting, partnerships, and work. Their takeaway? We don’t need more gratitude journals. We need shared responsibility.
Anya raised $3.5M to build a postpartum recovery system—sleep deprivation, hair loss, hormonal crash landings included. Because postpartum recovery is more than just pads and a squirt bottle.
Oula Rebuilds Maternal Care: Oula is reimagining maternity clinics with mental health baked in, because standard OB visits and checkbox surveys aren’t cutting it.
Momstincts: Where This Is All Headed
The Era of Polished Motherhood Is Over Perfectly curated “momfluencers” are losing relevance. Moms want messy, real, ragey, raw—and they want brands and workplaces that get it.
Advocacy Will Replace Awareness Mental health hotlines and brand campaigns are a start. But the next wave? Pushing for actual change: paid leave, postpartum healthcare, workplace protections. It’s building, with organizations like the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA) and MAMHHA leading policy advocacy at the national level.
Maternal Rage As a Political Force. The pressure isn’t just personal anymore.
It’s economic and electoral. If MAHA moms could organize around Red Dye, imagine what they’ll do around maternal mental health, child care, and workplace protections. This isn’t just mom groups. It’s a voting bloc in the making.Motherhood survival becoming a wellness industry—and a medical frontier. Mental health retreats, meal delivery services (see Milky Oat) and "postpartum rehab" models (think Canyon Ranch, but for new moms) are quietly emerging under the wellness boom—right alongside the rise of psychedelic prescriptions for postpartum depression.
AI Wants to Help—But It Can’t Hold the Baby (yet) From AI parenting coaches to therapy chatbots and digital concierges, tech companies are racing to “solve” the mental load. Faye just raised $2.5M to pair smart tools with real human advisors. Milo, acts like a voice-activated assistant for the family calendar and Ava is positioning itself as the go-to for everything from pediatrician research to birthday party RSVPs. It sounds pretty amazing but AI can’t tag in for preschool pickup.
TL;DR: Moms are holding up the world and still making their own Mother’s Day reservations. It’s not resilience we should be selling, it’s real freaking help.
Research Department…
Fertility Tech Gets Funded—Again: Cofertility ($7.25M) and We Conceive are betting big on the next generation of family-buildin—less stigma, more strategy.
Bobbie’s Marketing Team Scores (Again): Sort of hate baby showers—unless Bobbie’s throwing them. This weekend, two pregnant Portland Thorns FC players will take the field while the formula brand hosts the world’s largest baby shower. It's part NWSL sponsorship and part very real reminder that moms are superheroes.
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Baby Bonus: According to LendingTree, the average cost of raising a child is now nearly $300,000…that’s without counting the mental load.
Fungus Could Save Your Kid’s Diaper Blowout: HIRO is launching diapers that biodegrade with plastic-eating fungi, promising a future where parenting is slightly less trashy.
Thanks for being mom friends :)